The common thread in spiritual awakening is in the ‘losing of oneself’ and becoming one with the cosmos. “Deny the self if you want to reach enlightenment” is in the teaching of Buddhism. Although this practice has many advantages, knowing what I know now, I am leaning away from this idea. It’s not about ego, but awareness of oneself, that makes the difference.
Well, my spiritual awakening was far from traditional right from the start — my first spiritual experience was a near death encounter, which totally flipped my idea of the meaning of life and the after life on its head. I didn’t get the chance to sit for hours in meditation, like I do now, to reach an enlightened state, instead I was hit with the ability to channel and understand the spiritual realm —Click — just like that.
Since then the unseen reality has been my reality, 15 years. Although the realm of possibilities are endless to what you could tap into, I never considered accessing growth beyond what I knew, after all I have seen and experienced some epic colourful moments. However, being loyal to the acts of service towards my second chance to life, I will never stop evolving into all I can be.
So, instead of denying the self, I really got to know the self, for I realised it is this body I live in that needs to be discovered, not just the areas and influences outside of me. The most unexplored area of my being was my sexual expression.
Why did I deny my sensuality?
Why did it become unappealing?
If someone asked me “do you want to be sexually awakened”? I would have said No thank you, if it means you have to have sex often. I had enough trauma and numbness around this topic, why toture me further?
With many questions, and the deep, unsettling, realisation that I carry alot of sex shame. I had to dig into the why to release my shame and trauma over this subject, and so then, this began my journey into my sexual awakening.
My sexual liberation started to stir the deeper I went into spiritual experiences. I became so embodied with spiritual intimacy that I left my body hundreds of times to meet souls, beings, angels and kingdoms. I danced and felt so loved and held, but the longing to leave my body constantly, became apparent.
Then one day I was questioned by my God. “Why, do you not love intimacy with your human self?”
It hit me, this is true, I am a spiritual being living a human existence so then why am I not living a full human existence? Why am I wanting to leave it so much?
Intuitively led, I fed myself compassion and awakened my sexual desire!
While working on my spiritual light language album, Embracing Eternity Within, it required me to be fully present as a vessel to channel melodies and light language songs through the experience tingles of love started to rise. When I dropped into my heart chakra to hear what was presented to me, waves of bliss radiated through me. During one particular song –Romancing the Soul– this intense ecstatic feeling began to fill my body, so I began to work this melodic energy through my system, while it gave me orgasmic pleasure channeling the words through. IT WAS MAGIC.
That was when I realised, I need to study this futher and become the most esquisite soulful, sexual love coach I possibly could be, so I enrolled in the Tantric Institute of Intergrated Sexuality to become fully qualified in all things love, sex and relationship related. Now I coach women into their sexual awakening and couples in long term relationships (alongside my life long lover) to live a rich sexual, spiritual life as deeply and effectively as possible.
Today my daily spiritual and sensual meditations are fully focused on serving the physical body, energy body and spiritual body through self-love and embodied pleasure. I practice sex magic, a form of manifesting, and have accumilated a whole bunch of desires that have fallen into my lap. I don’t search out clients, they come to me and I love being able to live a full bodied life.
So what is sexual awakening?
Sexual awakening, being sexually liberated means you finally become one with your original essence, your primal energy and you know your sexual organs,–not just a general idea, but you know them so well, their names, each muscle, even their personality– you know where and how to tap into the center points that connect you to your nervous system, that connects you to your energy body and then through to spiritual ascension. Yes! All this is accessed from your sexual organs.
You know your turn ons, turn offs, you can train yourself to drop into an ecstasy and bliss state in a matter of seconds and drive sexual energy all around your body simply by activating your pleasure centre. The best bit is, the shame and disgust around this topic disappears and it’s replaced with an empowered sexually healthy version of yourself. You respect yourself so much, you no longer will just put up with anyone. Sex becomes sacred, so sacred.
I have a creative and unique way to express my sexual energy, incorporating all different mediums; making love to water, air, heat and even structures all without touch. By using the energy alone from these elements and using my energy and sexual presence to this, is what creates this epic experience. Specific muscles work your pineal gland and crown chakra and that allows your nervous system to become safe within the spiritual moment. I have found at times, the experiences I have encountered have shocked my nervous system and I didn’t know what to do with all this energy and realisation, even after grounding. But accessing the spirit realm through your own body and nervous system allows your body to associate pleasure and connection in a much grounded way. It’s been life changing this perspective.
It is energy after all and it needs to be released in its original essence, –which is your unstoried self, before filters, perceptions and fear and shame tells you what it is. Doing this with your filters and ideas that it is wrong, weird or dirty, won’t bring you to a place of ecstasy any time soon. Working with sexual energy is extremely creative, it allows you to sync up to the realm of possibilities, so you can bring down your desires effortlessly.
Your original essence, wants to be close to the elements of life to create more life, and using these mediums allows you to experience high vibrational awareness, and this is what I like to teach and train other women in, so they too can have an exotic path to pleasure and embody a healed state around their sexual numbness and trauma. I never go with my clients, where I have never been, this is paramount when it comes to having an excellent coach to work with.
The very first guideline to awaken your own sexual energy, is to remove the idea that sex has a goal (orgasm/ejaculation) and that when that goal is achieved it ends, or that sex is penetration and sex is only with another. It’s reframing and bringing back the innocence of its primal state of being and wanting to be felt and expressed as it is. When you feel into this longing, and you are inside your cells of pleasure while working your pleasure muscles, your enlightenment towards sexual liberation begins.