Why do some people like to ponder, while others love to socialize? Why is the introvert so good at math, while the extravert is so good with people?<\/p>\n
Is there a way that we can combine the good parts of both the Introvert and the Extravert, to become \u2014 something never seen before on the face of the Earth \u2014 a Supervert?!?<\/span><\/p>\n When most people in our society (even psychologists) talk about \u201cintroversion\u201d and \u201cextraversion,\u201d they tend to look only at the surface behaviors, and are often completely unaware of the underlying causes. This type of understanding only allows us to label \u201cintroverts\u201d and \u201cextraverts,\u201d but doesn\u2019t give us any power to switch from one to the other if we want to.<\/p>\n Lucky for you, through meditation, the underlying cause of introversion and extraversion becomes blatantly obvious. Once you understand the choices you are unconsciously making that are causing you to sometimes feel \u201cintroverted\u201d and sometimes feel \u201cextraverted,\u201d you will gain the ability to easily switch between introversion and extraversion at will. After a little bit of practice, your brain will just automatically switch to the most useful mode for any given situation!<\/p>\n So How Does Introversion and Extraversion WORK?<\/em><\/p>\n Focus\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n In the western paradigm of psychology, there are many different theories about why some people are more introverted while some people are more extraverted. The one thing that the scientific research has consistently shown is that extraverts tend to be happier than introverts. Go figure.<\/p>\n When most people think about the concepts of introvert and extravert, they immediately associate them with peoples\u2019 social personas. The introvert is the nerd who likes to study snails in his room and is afraid of social interaction (let\u2019s call him Melvin for now); the extravert is the socialite who loves partying and always needs to be around other people (Angelina). However, if you want to understand what actually causes these complex patterns of behavior, you need to look DEEPER. Warning: deep sh*t ahead.<\/p>\n Carl Jung was one of the deepest psychologists of our time. When he talked about introversion and extraversion, he didn\u2019t talk only about peoples\u2019 social behaviors. He looked deeper.<\/p>\n Why do some people prefer to stay home alone, while other people prefer to go out and socialize? Mr. Jung actually gave a very powerful answer to this question, but I\u2019m afraid most people didn\u2019t understand what he meant, because the way he phrased it sounds\u2026 well\u2026.<\/p>\n If a person\u2019s psychic energy usually flows outwards then he or she is an extravert, while if the energy usually flows inwards, the person is an introvert. (\u201cThe Old Wise Man,\u201d Time magazine article about Jung, Feb. 14, 1955)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n \u2026 psychic energy? Really? Whenever I read this quote, I can hear Penn Gillette\u2019s unnecessarily loud voice ranting about airy-fairy hippies and new-age pseudo-scientists taking over the world. Come on Carl, couldn\u2019t you have phrased this in a normal way so that people wouldn\u2019t think you were drinking out of beakers you found in Albert Hoffman\u2019s laboratory?<\/p>\n OK, let\u2019s try substituting the word \u201cattention\u201d wherever you see \u201cpsychic energy.\u201d Let\u2019s see how this looks.<\/p>\n If a person\u2019s attention usually flows outwards then he or she is an extravert, while if the attention usually flows inwards, the person is an introvert.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Well now, that makes sense!<\/p>\n This is precisely what makes the difference between an introvert and an extravert. In the original Latin, the words \u201cintrovert\u201d and \u201cextravert\u201d don\u2019t mean \u201cnerd\u201d and \u201csocialite.\u201d They mean, \u201cone who is turned inward\u201d and \u201cone who is turned outward\u201d (intro = inward, extra = outward, vertere = to turn).<\/p>\n An introvert\u2019s attention is generally turned inward. His attention is usually focused on thoughts, because\u2026 well\u2026 let\u2019s face it, there\u2019s pretty much nothing else in there. An extravert\u2019s attention is generally turned outward. It is usually focused on physical objects or phenomena that are seen, heard, smelled, tasted, or felt through one of the five senses.<\/p>\n Now, here\u2019s where things start to get really interesting. Now that we understand where the nerds and the socialites are focusing their attention, we can see very clearly how all of their respective behaviors arise!<\/p>\n \u2026becomes behavior!<\/strong><\/p>\n We can see why our friend Melvin the Introvert would feel uncomfortable and distracted in a noisy room with lots of people (I can\u2019t hear myself think!), while Angelina the Extravert would love to dive into the chaos and explore this type of social gathering (finally some excitement!).<\/p>\n We can see why Melvin would feel at home in a quiet room alone with his thoughts with nothing to distract him, while Angelina might feel bored of staring at the walls all day.<\/p>\n We can see why Melvin would tend to have awkward and\/or distant relationships with the people around him (he\u2019s focused on his thoughts, not on the person in front of him), while Angelina connects easily with everybody she meets.<\/p>\n We can see why Melvin likes to talk about science, philosophy, psychology, and politics, while Angelina likes to talk about the people and places around her (that\u2019s what they are constantly focused on, that\u2019s what their worlds are about).<\/p>\n If we dig a little deeper, we can even begin to understand why Angelina\u2019s world is \u201cbrighter,\u201d \u201chappier,\u201d and more enjoyable experience than Melvin\u2019s is! *<\/p>\n * This understanding goes very deep, and is beyond the scope of this article. It\u2019s not just about \u201chaving more friends,\u201d it\u2019s about stimulation, brain chemicals, and dopamine receptors. Click here if you\u2019d like to read my more in-depths article about Introversion vs. Extraversion.<\/p>\n More to the point, we can see how introversion and extraversion are choices that we make, and how we can easily switch between the two if we want. This is a very powerful thing to understand; it gives you the power to completely change your experience of life whenever you want to.<\/p>\n Change your focus, and your behavior changes magically!<\/strong><\/p>\n Meditation is an exercise that trains you to use your brain\u2019s \u201cattention control muscles.\u201d In a meditation exercise, you start out by choosing your object of focus, and then you pour all of your \u201cpsychic energy\u201d (attention) into it. That\u2019s the whole exercise.<\/p>\n Through meditation, you learn to direct your attention in whichever direction you like, whether it is \u201cinward\u201d or \u201coutward.\u201d You can \u201cintrovert\u201d your attention, or you can \u201cextravert\u201d it.<\/p>\n Personally, I grew up as a very extreme introvert (that\u2019s why I have all this interesting thinky-stuff to write on my blog). From the time I was a young child, all the way through the time I started meditating in my third year in University, my attention was constantly turned inward. My experience of life was Melvin\u2019s experience. I didn\u2019t mind being an introvert; in fact, I felt a kind of pride in being an explorer of deep concepts that other people never really thought about. I felt that other people were \u201cshallow,\u201d and I felt no desire to be like that.<\/p>\n When I started meditating, I began to become aware of my \u201cattention control muscles,\u201d in the same way that a person who learns to wiggle his ears becomes aware of the muscles around his ears.<\/p>\n Forgive me, ancient Indian people, I\u2019m going to hijack one of your sacred spiritual symbols for a moment in order to illustrate my point. In this article, let\u2019s use the \u201cThird Eye\u201d as a symbol for \u201cthe part of your mind that points and holds your attention in one direction,\u201d the same way that your physical eyes point and hold your vision in one direction.<\/p>\n Imagine there\u2019s a Third Eye in between your two normal eyes, right where your nose meets your forehead. The cool thing about this Super Awesome Eye is that it can spin around like a revolving door, to point inward or outward, or wherever you want it to point! By controlling this eye, you decide where your attention is focused, and the content of your Reality.<\/p>\n Unfortunately, most people don\u2019t even realize that they have control over where this Eye is looking. It just flips back and forth on instinct and habit. The problem is\u2026 most of the time, we don\u2019t even realize that we have<\/em> a Third Eye. We assume that Reality is what we see (and only what we see) at any given moment. Since the eye is constantly shifting from stimulus to stimulus, Reality is constantly changing. This makes life into a great big crazy fun-house of confusion and drama!<\/p>\n This sounds like a crazy way to go through life\u2026 and it is. If only we were skilled at controlling the direction of our attention, we would be masters of our own Realities! Unfortunately, each of us has been living with an out-of-control Third Eye, since it began operating on instinct<\/em> during our first disgusting and traumatic moments, all slimy and bloody in the delivery room.<\/p>\n Children grow up without ever noticing the Third Eye,<\/strong><\/p>\n A baby\u2019s attention goes wherever there is the \u201cloudest,\u201d most attention-grabbing stimulus. If there is a pretty birdie, the baby\u2019s \u201cThird Eye\u201d will be looking at the pretty birdie (extraverted). If the baby\u2019s stomach is empty, the Third Eye will be looking at the uncomfortable feelings arising in its body, and maybe even some primitive \u201cthoughts\u201d (like \u201cI\u2019m hungry\u201d) that arise in the mind (introverted).<\/p>\n Over time, a child\u2019s Third Eye begins to develop \u201chabits\u201d based on how often its Eye tends to turn inward or outward (check out my article, train your child to be more extraverted or introverted). These habits are actually patterns of behavior, which are encoded in the physical structure of the brain. This is part of the brain\u2019s natural process of change and adaptation, which is called neuroplasticity. I\u2019m not going to get into the physical brain changes right now (read my neuroplasticity article here), so let\u2019s just refer to these behavior patterns as \u201chabits.\u201d<\/p>\n When I was a young\u2019n, for whatever reason (not going to get into it\u2026 check out my article, \u201cPsychoanalysis is Useless and Counterproductive\u201d), my Third Eye had developed the habit of looking inward. Over time, this habit grew stronger and stronger, to the point where I could barely even see and hear the world around me. My thoughts were constantly clouding my vision. I unconsciously blocked out sounds so that I could hear myself think. I became\u2026 Melvin. Well I never really got into snails but you get the idea.<\/p>\n But we can easily develop our \u201cattention-control muscles\u201d through meditation.<\/strong><\/p>\n When I first learned to Meditate as a young adult, I began to flex my \u201cattention control muscles\u201d by playing with the direction of my Third Eye. At first it was difficult to turn my Eye away from its usual spot, as it was focused directly on whatever thoughts happened to seem \u201cimportant\u201d at the time. However, with some effort and determination, I was able to start turning it around intentionally and pointing it at other objects.<\/p>\n At first, the best I could do was to turn my eye from \u201cnegative thoughts\u201d to \u201cpositive thoughts\u201d and vise versa. This was a very useful thing in itself, as I gained the ability to temporarily cure anxiety attacks and put myself in a \u201cgood mood\u201d whenever I wanted to. By doing this, I was also able to turn depression into mania, like water into wine (don\u2019t try this, it\u2019s not sustainable). However, even when it was on \u201chappy thoughts,\u201d the Eye was still directed inward. This ability to turn my attention from negative thoughts to positive thoughts was not a complete paradigm shift, only a new skill to use within my introverted world.<\/p>\n My real paradigm shift came from staring at a tree.<\/p>\n As a young adult, I experienced debilitating social anxiety (part of the introvert complex) and I could barely make eye contact with other people. I downloaded a meditation MP3 that claimed to have the solution to this problem. I started listening, and much to my surprise, the meditation teacher demanded that I sit outside and stare at a tree for an hour.<\/p>\n Feeling a bit odd, I went to my local park (in Long Island City, near the Water Taxi), sat down, and began to stare at a tree. The voice in my headphones told me to let go of my thoughts, and just \u201cLook at the tree, without thinking about it, without thinking about anything. Just look at the tree.\u201d My mind kept wandering into thoughts, like \u201cthis is stupid,\u201d \u201cpeople are staring at me,\u201d \u201cI would get soooo rich if I could figure out a way to invent a teleportation machine like the one in Star Trek,\u201d \u201cI need to call Mindy about the apartment,\u201d stuff like that. But I kept staring at the tree. I was determined to try out this exercise. I didn\u2019t know if it would work or not, but it was worth a try. I brought my attention back to the tree, over and over and over again.<\/p>\n After about half an hour, the voice on the MP3 said something like \u201cI know your mind is probably wandering all over the place, but for this to work, you must keep bringing your attention back to the tree. Imagine that your life depends on it. Imagine that your mother\u2019s life depends on it.\u201d<\/p>\n For some reason, this struck an emotional chord in me. I pushed harder; I began to place more importance on keeping my attention on The Tree than I was placing on each individual thought that arose in my mind.<\/p>\n Gradually, over the next few minutes, an amazing thing started to happen. The tree actually began to come into focus for me. It was as if a grey cloud had been hovering in front of my eyes, and it was now dissolving. For the first time in my adult life, I could see the world around me in beautiful, fluid High Definition. For years I had been watching life on a 13-inch TV screen, and now I was in the IMAX.<\/p>\n As I continued to sit and stare (feeling a bit excited now as my world began to fill with light and color), my vision of the tree became clearer, sharper, and brighter. The colors of the brown bark and the green leaves began to glow with the radiant light of life itself. Everything else began to fade into the background; my thoughts became quieter as my focus honed in on this \u201cexternal, physical object.\u201d The Third Eye was pointing outward, and was fully focused on something outside of my head for the first time since I was a small child.<\/p>\n I felt a kind of awe, a curiosity, and a love for life itself that I hadn\u2019t felt since I was a child. I was flooded with a kind of intense, overpowering, childlike joy that I hadn\u2019t experienced in many years, a feeling from a half-remembered dream. This joy didn\u2019t stem from \u201csuccessfully staring at the tree,\u201d and it certainly didn\u2019t stem from any concept or thought that was inside my head.<\/p>\n This joy welled up from a much deeper place. This was the simple joy of being alive, in a world filled with living things. I felt as if this feeling of warmth and joy, this \u201cjoie de vivre\u201d was flowing from the fabric of reality itself, the natural state of human existence. It struck me that, for my entire adult life, my chronic internal focus had been the only thing at fault for blocking it out. It was like stepping out into the sunshine after years of sitting in a cave. *<\/p>\n * I believe that the inward vs. outward direction of attention has a direct affect on dopamine levels in the brain, which directly causes extraverts to be happier than introverts. Click here to read my more in-depth article on Focus & Brain Chemistry.<\/p>\n So to sum up, staring at a tree made me feel really good. What was I supposed to be writing about again?<\/p>\n Oh yeah, becoming a Supervert. Right.<\/p>\n There are many different forms of meditation. They vary widely from \u201cwatching the breath,\u201d to \u201cwalking meditation,\u201d to \u201cbody awareness meditation,\u201d to \u201cthe men who stare at trees\u201d meditation. You can find detailed instructions for all of these form (and many more) in the \u201cmeditation\u201d section of this website.<\/p>\n The one thing that all of these meditation techniques have in common is this: they teach us the skill of attention-control.<\/p>\n The skill of attention control consists of three distinct abilities, each of which is developed through meditation:<\/p>\n 1. The ability to notice where your attention (Third Eye) is focused (this ability is called \u201cMindfulness\u201d), No matter what you choose as your object of meditation, these abilities will be trained through your simple act of choosing an object, shifting your full attention to it, and holding it in the light of your attention.<\/p>\n The more you practice meditation, the stronger your attention-control muscles (the muscles that control your Third Eye) become. When you have strong muscles, you don\u2019t need to work hard to perform routine tasks; they just become easier and easier as you get stronger and stronger. This applies to the simple act of switching between introversion and extraversion as well.<\/p>\n During your daily life, you may suddenly become aware that your attention is focused inwardly when it should be focused outwardly (or vise versa). This is your ability of mindfulness, kicking in without you even having to do anything. You then shift your attention outward, and hold your attention on whatever it is that you\u2019re supposed to be focusing on.<\/p>\n At first, you do this with some conscious effort. You marvel at how much more effectively you are able to deal with whatever it is that you were doing. You smile, and pat yourself on the back for a job well done.<\/p>\n Over time, your brain learns through this type of positive reinforcement that you get better results (and thus receive good feelings) by focusing outward, instead of inward (or vise versa) in each particular situation. In this way, your brain forms new habits. You thus become naturally extraverted in situations that call for an extravert, and naturally introverted in situations which are better suited to introverts.<\/p>\n In this way, meditation literally gives you the ability to switch between being introverted and extraverted at will. You will no longer be \u201cMelvin\u201d or \u201cAngelina,\u201d you\u2019ll be Super Melgelina!<\/p>\n However, this does not mean that you will automatically have the knowledge of Stephen Hawking, nor the social skills of Bill Clinton. You will, however, have the power to develop either, or both, of those learned skill sets, over time.<\/p>\n If you want to learn how to gain knowledge faster and enter the deep, dark realm of the introvert, check out my article on learning more efficiently. If you want to improve your social skills and become more socially active, check out my article on improving your social life. Remember, meditation is the necessary basis for both of these endeavors. Meditation will make you a \u201cnatural,\u201d and you\u2019ll naturally learn the \u201clittle things\u201d through practice and experience. This will happen as a natural process, but these articles may serve to give you an idea of what lies ahead, and give you a little help in speeding things up.<\/p>\n Any kind of meditation technique will give you the power to switch between introversion and extraversion. However, I believe that there are some techniques that can be more helpful than others in creating an \u201cintroverted\u201d or \u201cextraverted\u201d experience in the meditator, which can significantly speed up the process of becoming a Supervert. Though this has not yet been scientifically studied, I believe that choosing an \u201cexternal\u201d object of meditation can be advantageous in bringing balance to the mind of a habitually introverted meditator, and vise versa.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re \u201can introvert\u201d and you\u2019d like to experience life on the outside, click here for instructions on how to do the \u201cTree Meditation.\u201d You might also want to try the \u201cLoving Kindness Meditation.\u201d If you\u2019re \u201can extravert,\u201d you might want to start with The Buddha\u2019s Original Recipe, \u201cAnapanasati Meditation\u201d (which puts the focus on the breathing process), or try some \u201cMind Awareness Meditation\u201d techniques. Personally, I do what I can to keep balance in my life by shaking things up and practicing a variety of these techniques whenever the opportunity arises.<\/p>\n Good luck on your journey!<\/p>\n Namaste.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Why do some people like to ponder, while others love to socialize? Why is the introvert so good at math, while the extravert is so good with people? Is there a way that we can combine the good parts of both the Introvert and the Extravert, to become \u2014 something never seen before on the face of the Earth \u2014 a Supervert?!?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":701,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35,2],"tags":[64,65,3,37],"class_list":["post-2218","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-why-meditate","tag-extravert","tag-introvert","tag-meditation","tag-psychology"],"yoast_head":"\n
\n2. The ability to intentionally turn your Eye in one particular direction (let\u2019s call this \u201cShifting\u201d), and
\n3. The ability to hold your Third Eye steady, and stop it from turning chaotically in response to randomly arising stimuli (\u201cHolding\u201d).<\/p>\n